"Getting in balance is not so much about adopting new strategies to change your behaviors, as it is about re-aligning yourself in all of your thoughts so as to create a balance between what you desire and how you conduct your life on a daily basis." Wayne Dyer, Being in Balance, 2006
One of the greatest feats a person can attain in life is achieving a balance with the mind,body, and soul even in a world filled with chaos. For me, this was a challenge for so long. There was truly a period of time where I felt that I would succumb to the pressures of all the chaos in the world and would be lost. It can truly be overwhelming when you really think about all the hats we wear in the world. The varying roles we must fill. But have you ever thought about how we handle every aspect of ourselves and maintain our sanity. Like how do we address our personally mental stability and personal practices for self-care.
These are some of the things I began to reflect on, especially in my early adult life. As many of us discover after we turn 18 and high school has finished we have to learn of manage our lives, careers, school, and family/ friends. It can be a challenge. So how do we do it?
What I learned on my journey to finding my balance in life is first and foremost gaining a true understanding of the differences between internal and external force impacting my life. One of the tools I used and studied was designed by Jasmin Tanjeloff on her blog post titled “How to Create a Balanced Life: 9 Tips to Feel Calm and Grounded.”
Internal (Mind, Heart, Health) Mind: Challenging yourself intellectually vs. creating opportunities for your mind to rest Heart: Giving love vs. receiving love Health: Eating, drinking, exercising properly vs. resting and treating yourself to some extra yummies
External (Work, Social, Family, Fun) Work: Pushing yourself to achieve goals vs. seeing the bigger picture and enjoying the ride Social: Satisfying your social desires vs. taking time for yourself Family: Fulfilling your familial responsibilities vs. creating healthy boundaries Fun: Allocating time for things you enjoy doing vs. making sure you don’t overdo it
When I started looking at my life with this mind-frame, I was able to develop a plan to address the areas that were contributing my own imbalance. I used a tool similar to this Lifestyle Balance Worksheet to begin to get a picture of my life. After seeing it on paper, I begin to think about ways I can address the areas that I was not getting the most positive energy possible. I incorporated a variety of strategies to deal with the areas of my life that were not contributing to my own fulfillment. One of my greatest strategies that have helped me the most is planning. Planning specific time to address my self-care needs, from making time to exercise, to meditate, or even just relax. I needed to set a blocked time each day that was for me and only me.
From there I used the 6 step method to fostering the life balance I needed.
Accepting that you are in control of your own existence and emotions.
It is delusional to attempt to avoid seeing all aspects of our lives with accepting the current state off each factor in it for face value. For example, greed, if you are maintaining relationships with others solely on the bases of what they do for your benefit without you contributing anything is a negative state of being. You may not want to accept that this act is actually hurting you and contributing to the imbalance in your life. You feel a space of emptiness that is unavoidable and you truly don’t know why. Coming to terms with this behavior brings it to the forefront of things that you need to address in your life. Greed is an inhibitor of discovering and living your purpose.
Building your self-awareness.
Taking time to study yourself. Understand your likes and dislikes fully. Practice mindfulness; your “BIG Why”
Creating balance statements based on what you value.
Discovering your balance is not going to be the same as others around you. As the saying goes, “What works for some might not work for you!” Take time to think about what your personal values are and outline different practice that work for you. I.E. Taking long walks in solitude because it helps me to clear my head; Practicing Yoga or meditation; attending church; etc.
Developing good boundaries.
It’s OK to say no sometimes. Don’t be ashamed of that!
Tuning in and reflecting.
Keep a journal and reflect on your day, your week, your month. Set and Write down your goals and what you want out of life.
Adjusting as necessary.
We grow everyday and we must be willing to change course or change the plan when it is necessary.
Finding balance is what I believe is a true key in being a happy, healthy, and fulfilled individual.
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